A Dangerous Dance

24 Jan

I remember the first time I slow danced with a boy I liked. It was utterly terrifying to be so physically near the person. I wonder if dancing with God is similar: scary yet electrifying. 

Although I love connection, relationships aren’t really my thing. (I know that is a paradox but light can be a particle and a wave…) But I’m the first to admit that it is much easier to have a day to day relationship with my cats than with humans. After all, they are pretty predictable. I know they will meow, want to be fed and will jump on my lap every second possible. Humans are less so. Sometimes they are in a good mood; sometimes a crappy one. Sometimes they shower you with affection; other times they are down right mean. Or needy. Or depressing to be around. And sometimes, they severely disappoint.  

So what is God like to be around? 

Like a newlywed, I am just starting to find out as my idea of who He is breaks down and the reality of who He is sinks in. So far, He isn’t predictable — but he isn’t mean, needy or depressing. He also doesn’t let me down. However, I often keep him at arms length, a cool aloof partner instead of a spontaneous, loving one. I get too pre-occupied with my to-do list and my worries and fears instead of just letting Him hold me and take care of things every once in a while. When you’re used to doing everything on your own, how do you begin to rely on Another, the Supreme Other? How do you surrender into this Love and let someone else lead for awhile? I don’t know. It can feel like a dangerous dance.

When you do actually learn to dance as a female, there is this weird moment where you have to trust the guy – because he has the lead. Half the time I don’t know the dance but if the guy knows what he is doing, it doesn’t matter. If you simply surrender and follow, the next thing you know you’re being twirled all over the dance floor. And it’s so much fun. You twirl and swirl all over the place and sometimes get lifted or dipped when you least expect it. 

When it comes to God, I am very much like that star struck teenager pining for a dance but too afraid to even show my face. Ever the wall flower. Thankfully, God is a more persistent suitor and occasionally insists on a turn whether I want to move or not.

In relationships, the real danger occurs when you get past the introductions and babbling and start to just be. But that is also where comfort starts to sink in. Getting closer to God is teaching me that it almost more dangerous not to seek Him because quite frankly, life is off kilter without Him. He is what makes one complete; not a romantic partner. And as I start to be with Him, I’m experiencing a kind of love that surpasses anything human and that just keeps showing up.

Intimacy with God. A very dangerous dance indeed. But how wonderful.

4 Responses to “A Dangerous Dance”

  1. bub January 28, 2009 at 7:51 pm #

    That was a really beautiful post. You have a real gift with words. No real comment, just acknowledgment.

  2. lisesletters January 29, 2009 at 2:52 am #

    Thank you so much, Bub. I have always loved words and feel God gave them to me as a toy to delight in. Words have always soothed me and excited me by their power to inspire and transform. But now I’m discovering the Word of God – His book – His words – and that is a WOW! I hope His words will assist me with my own writing/thinking process. I hope to meet you and your wife at church some day. Todd or Ed will have to flag you guys down for me some time. Thanks, again.

  3. Mara February 2, 2009 at 1:11 am #

    Hi, Lise.
    Bopped in over here from bub’s blog where you commented.
    And he’s right. You have a way with words.
    I love it when people talk about their relationship with the LORD and make it real, not stuffy or overly spiritual (as in goes clear over the top of your average person’s head).

  4. lisesletters February 3, 2009 at 2:23 pm #

    Thanks so much, Mara.

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