Lessons in Humility

25 Apr

I believe the things we need to learn in life sometimes flash at us like a neon light. Suddenly, everywhere we turn, experiences seem to point to the same lesson needing to be mastered. In the classroom of life, I’ve been asked to take Humility 101. 

Now humility is not my strong suit. Not that I’m arrogant or obnoxious but I often exert my will in a wild attempt to control instead of simply surrendering to situations. On some level, I have to put in my two cents as a means of managing anxiety or angst. 

Like a passive/aggressive person who swings from extreme poles because s/he lacks assertiveness skills or how to find the middle ground, I think my lapses in humility usually stem from a deeper insecurity or deficit. Usually, if my will or pride is running the show, I somehow fear a need won’t be acknowledged or met. And thus, I subconsciously manipulate things in the hopes that this won’t happen.

In my lessons in humility however, I’m discovering that learning to keep one’s mouth shut or to turn the other cheek doesn’t always mean you’re a doormat. Or stupid. Or opening yourself to being taken advantage of. Sometimes, like the opposum (sp) playing dead, it’s simply the smarter or more mature thing to do. Knowing when and how to act  and when not to is a true talent. 

I think of Jesus before he was to be crucified questioning his Father. If I had been in his shoes, I would have been so up in arms. So indignant. So pleading. Argumentative. “What the f—-?” I’m sure I’d have asked. Instead, Jesus questioned but ultimately acquiesced. He trusted.

TRUST. (That will be my next upper division course).  

Now that is humility. From a guy who had it going on. He could have been proud. Willful. Vain. Instead, he is a case study in humility. 

I have so much yet to learn.

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