Is It Really That Complicated?

27 Dec

I just saw “It’s Complicated.” I expected to laugh hysterically and instead found myself feeling very sad throughout the movie. Yes, the cast is stellar and there are definitely some funny moments – but underneath it – I saw the landscape of contemporary relationships and found it tragic. 

The movie portrays a divorced couple (Dame Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin) who suddenly begin to rendez-vous, despite the fact that the husband is remarried. Yes, the passion between them sparks up again after all these years and the illicit is always so attractive. As I watched this play out, I thought how convincing modern media is, influencing us that if it feels good, it must be good. Who cares if this might hurt anyone?  Or ourselves. Or our children… In a flash, Meryl Streep’s character is swept up again in her ex-husband’s charm, never minding the fact that he shattered her life when after twenty years of marriage he screws around with a younger woman and dumps her. THANKFULLY, the movie takes a turn and shines a flashlight on all of these things instead of staying on the surface level, glamorizing adultery.

Movies like this make my skin crawl because more and more I’m seeing how lost we really are. I see how much we miss the mark from the love, stability and intimacy we desperately crave. And it makes me sad. 

There are reasons why my generation is choosing not to marry and why the divorce rate has sky rocketed. We fear getting hurt in an age of non-commitment or live in denial of our own patterns and behaviors. 

And it is a jungle out there. 

I think part of the problem is that instead of turning to God for guidance in relationships, we instead turn to ourselves thinking we have all the answers. Thinking we know it all. When in fact, we can be sorely misguided about what is what. 

I know that when I didn’t put God first in romance and sexuality, all I got was complications. My own complex inner life, my lusts, my f—- up conditioning – that in the end led to nowhere but heartache and disappointment. Is it really that complicated? Yes. But if we turn to God, no. He helps us navigate the terrain. He helps keep us straight.

This movie reminded me of how much we need God. Not because we’re all bad people and sinners who are going to burn in hell but because we are people YEARNING so deeply for true love, true companionship, true family and true community.

One Response to “Is It Really That Complicated?”

  1. Charissa December 28, 2009 at 1:43 am #

    Lise,

    This is brilliant.

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