Do “Meet Cutes” Really Happen?

5 Jul

In Hollywood there is a term referred to as the “meet cute” where in a romantic comedy the lovers meet in some haphazard way. For instance, boy’s ice cream cone accidentally drops on girl’s lap making her initially furious until she realizes that said boy is her soul mate… You get the point. 

I actually hate romantic comedies. I think they are dumb and insult most of our intelligence. But maybe that is because I haven’t had a “meet cute” in a really long time and I’d feel differently if I had. 

So how do people meet people in today’s world? Is it something that is supposed to just happen or is it something that you’re supposed to take some initiative on?

Up until recently, I pretty much thought that if you’re supposed to fall in love, you will. It’s a God’s will kind of thing. And I guess I’m still pretty much of that mindset. But I don’t believe that old adage – “It will happen when you least expect it – when you’re not looking for it.” I don’t buy that because for the last ten years, I’ve pretty much stopped looking and have focused on living my life to the fullest. And that has been great but it hasn’t yielded Prince Charming or even many dates. 

One of the problems I have is that I simply don’t get lonely that often. I’m not someone who feels this great void in not having a mate to the point where I make dating and meeting men my number one priority. And thus, I don’t make it one. But something struck me the other day in my work with depressed seniors. Many of them have lost their spouses and friends to death and thus are depressed. And what they need just as much as therapy is simply to get out and meet people. So we advise them to come to our program and/or a senior center. Initially, they find this humiliating and irritating. They are grown people after all suddenly getting on a van like they are pre-school kids (if they no longer drive). Yet almost within a week, they suffer the humiliation for the gain of meeting friends – just like them. People who are intelligent, interesting and still vibrant – yet caught in the reality that their peers are dying. 

So the reality is that I am 41 and most people my age are married. It’s not easy to find people to date other than through internet dating, an activity I find annoying and like a full time job. There is none of the “meet cute” in this form of courtship. And I find it far more interesting to read my books or meet people in other ways. But maybe I am no different than my seniors.

Yes, fate is in the hands of God but am I willing to take at least a little initiative to try and meet people outside of my circles that seem to have very few single men? 

I’m not certain.

One Response to “Do “Meet Cutes” Really Happen?”

  1. Blair July 8, 2010 at 3:39 am #

    This is so poignant, Lise. Thanks for your honesty and strong writing.

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