A Bunch of Crap

5 Mar

So I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no good time for a colonoscopy. Not sandwiched in-between two out of town teaching trips, or while fighting a miserable cold, or while trying to figure out if your cat has cancer. Let’s face it. Having to have a colonoscopy is a bunch of crap piled onto one’s schedule.


Let me put it this way. I do not fast. Not for religion purposes or dieting or cleanses. It’s not my thing. I have a ridiculously high metabolism and it simply doesn’t work for me. I get dizzy. I grow faint. Years ago I thought I’d be a good exchange student and fast with my Indonesian host family during the Islamic holiday of Ramadan and learned the hard way. Fasting makes me sick. So when the doctor told me I had to have a colonoscopy at the ripe old age of 43 and that I would have to drink liquid all day and basically poop out any remaining calories within me, I was not a happy camper.

The big preparation day began on Sunday. Blowing snot out of one orifice and heavens knows what out the other was not my idea of a good time. By mid-day, my head was pounding. I looked longingly at the food in the kitchen pantry; lounged on my bed reading a friend’s novel and dozed off to sleep every few hours. By this morning, my head felt like it was going to explode and I think I started hearing things.

I thought they were making a mountain out of a mole hill. I am as healthy as a horse. But cancer runs in my family. You know the drill. And indeed they found a polyp. So I guess it was a good thing I had this little inconvenient procedure. It wasn’t a bunch of crap after all. Perhaps it saved my life.

There is no ideal time to develop cancer or to die. To get sick or to lose a pet. To get stuck in snow or have a plane delayed. All we have is the present. And we better well embrace it.


Tonight I lie in bed in my bathrobe happy to eat again and to have my headache abate (I am still not allowed to have alcohol or aspirin). But tomorrow, begins a new day. I can’t wait for coffee with cream and to feel good. This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad!

One Response to “A Bunch of Crap”

  1. Blair Glaser (@BlairGlaser) March 10, 2013 at 3:19 am #

    I love your writing, Lise.

Leave a Reply