If I Wanted Your Unsolicited Advice, I’d Ask For It

27 Jun

We’ve all been there. At that baby shower or office function or social gathering where someone feels compelled to give us unsolicited advice. Not that we were asking for it. Yet that never seems to stop someone from telling us what we should do with our careers, our relationships, our hairstyles, or our investment portfolios while we’re holding a cocktail enjoying ourselves.

The meta messages here are “something is wrong with you” and “you’re not working hard enough.” Because if you were doing it right, life would be different.

Whenever someone starts pontificating about how if you just did x, y, and z, then your life would be just like his or hers, be on alert. Instead quietly say to yourself, “Dear people, there is nothing wrong with me. I repeat, there is nothing wrong with me.” Then get back to enjoying your life and listening to your own inner wisdom.

Now don’t get me wrong. Getting feedback from others can be very helpful. When we ask for it or when individuals ask if we’d like to hear their thoughts. We can then take or leave what we hear accordingly, but being pummeled with unwanted feedback is like being hit with a bull dozer.

Yesterday I was talking with an individual whom I’d only just met that morning. That didn’t stop her from giving me her two cents on what she thought I should be doing with my life. She’d known me for less than a half hour, yet made a number of personal recommendations. I wasn’t aware that my life needed fixing but apparently it does.

I then gathered my belongings and headed straight to the golf course where I’d planned to have lunch. Later that evening I had my neighbors over for drinks. Because there is nothing wrong with me.

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And there is nothing wrong with you!

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